#1

i drift down the stairs and see my self inside the inferno. a schizophrenic coupling of honky-tonk and gothic...my place.theres sawdust on the floor.mirrors cracked and gleaming on every wall.Dominatrix equipment and weapons hang from the ceiling.Whips and a harness an axe and sickle.Christmas lights swing from the rafters,the bar is a long slab of unfinished oak and the bartender wears a priests robe.the waitresses are dressed as dom chicks, one wears a dark schoolgirls outfit the other like a twisted nun. yet time is slowed to a crawl and i'm looking through a filter but its me.the familiar skull shaved stubble with gotee' and the eyes like shadows.the gray skin pulled tight on my face and my hands flashing white as if cut from paper. i wear a black suit.the clothes hang loose, as if borrowed.the truth is i'm losing weight. i look like i'm dying of cancer. i stop and turn a slow circle.the prick of nausea.someone else is watching me.a woman in a red dress.she sits in a leather armchair long legs crossed with fish nets.she has long black hair streaked with a color of blood. her lips part slightly and i can see her teeth. i turn and order vodka with a lemon and see the woman in red sit beside me..she is younger than i thought.its been too long since i sat so close to a woman and my first impulse is to move away.i loosen my jacket and look at her.she has a scar at the edge of her mouth and disturbing eyes like that of dolls.she doesn't seem to blink, her body like a knife. a dull black stone,shaped like a teardrop,dangles from a string of silver in the cold hollow of flesh above her collarbone.
are you new here?
i'm not even sure what city this.
that's funny cause you look familiar..
people say that.
perfect,she says
my drink comes and i drink it down and push it aside.she dips two fingers into the glass and i see her nails are painted black.she fishes out the twist of lemon and eats the pulp.i turn my head slightly and her face is two inches from mine.she takes a deep breath and exhales slowly.i breathe her dead air...